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How To Survive A Blogger Shame Meltdown

April 16, 2012 by 10 Comments

 

This is one of the first things I saw on Pinterest, it made me look over my shoulder because I was certain someone wrote it about me.

Since I posted Brené Brown TED talks I’ve been studying her books. Studying shame and what it does to us, to me.

You know when you are searching Dr. Google and there’s a thousand different ailments that could be related to your sore throat and swollen elbow and you become certain that you will likely end up in surgery or worse? That might be me reading Dr. Brown’s books. So I took a little break to get some perspective and when I started reading again I realized that I really do have the worst case of shame ever. But the book is called I Thought It Was Just Me, which is encouraging.

One of the most valuable things I’ve learned so far is that shame speaks to us in 2 ways

  1. Who the hell do you think you are?
  2. You suck and you will always suck.
Then I saw this on Pinterest.

 

I’m my own worst friend.
It all makes perfect sense when you say it out loud and resolve to be nicer to yourself and others. It does not make any kind of sense when you are in the middle of a shame meltdown.
Example? Sure I’d be happy to provide one.
The week before Easter Homemade Frontier rocked, we had huge pageviews for a blog only a month old. We were thrilled. But the whole time this was happening I had an internal dialogue in my head saying “Sure you’re getting clicks but no one is subscribing, they are just clicking away. You aren’t a plant propagation expert, you are just a spaz.” And I argue back to myself “No, I am a blogging rock star shut up.” And so on.

Until finally the 15 minutes of google analytic fame is over and it’s business as usual. Suddenly the external love of number of pageviews is gone and shame gets a run of the place.

Meltdown central. I know every blogger wants to throw in the blogging towel sometimes but it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. And in the middle of a meltdown it’s hard to know what’s fact and what is shame.
Here’s what I know for sure- the only person that can tell your shame, or your evil wolf, to shut up is you. No manner of external “You did great” will touch it.

The solution- I’m starting with identifying what’s real and what’s shame. Self-awareness let’s call it. And not giving up.

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