How Much Internet Do I Need?

I’m on the verge of doing something drastic. Or I am doing something drastic. Let’s call it a 2 phase plan, each phase more drastic than the other.

Phase 1

I’ve broken up with Twitter. It was either a Twitter break or unfollow nearly everyone in my stream. (which I haven’t entirely ruled out) I got tired of listening, reading. There’s so much judgement and craziness out there and I don’t need any(more) crazy in my life. I don’t need to read things about being a better parent in 140 characters or 17 links to how Lindsay Lohan got herself into another cocaine induced debacle.

And for the love of all that is decent please do not post pictures of your child bleeding. Put down the camera and get to the ER.

Like I said, there’s a lot of judgement. I don’t want to read it and I don’t want to be a part of it.

Phase 2

My cell phone carrier has been very diligent about sending me cheerful text messages reminding me that I am ready to upgrade my phone. It’s a bit like┬ásubliminal marketing and it worked. I was all set to line up for the brand spanking new iPhone5, jostling other Apple hardcores for the best spot in line.

But do I really need to be carrying the internet in my purse? Not really. What I need is a device to text message my husband to tell ask him to bring home something for dinner and for the school to reach me should one of my kids’ heads collide with the ground or another kid’s head.

Imagine that, a smartphone made dumb. On purpose. I’m kind of excited about it. It feels liberating. Well, until I get dreadfully lost and my GPS map doesn’t work. That will be a sad day.

I’ve been increasingly feeling like a hamster stuck in a wheel and my pounding little feet are what is powering the internet. Like a nursing mother and I am growing the internet instead of a baby. That’s not the internet’s fault, it’s mine.

 

What I am saying is:

Dear Internet, it’s not you it’s me. Love Kristin

 

Comments

  1. Word. I hear you.

  2. I usually make sure the bleeding is controlled before I take a picture:) I go through phases – I have taken a huge step away from the Internet, but I feel myself ramping up again. Maybe I need a 12 step program ( I have never been that into Twitter)

  3. I know! I know! I am so there! I am lucky I have an iphone which is paid for by my work but I am not totally convinced I would keep it if I had to pay for it myself. AND I totally broke up with twitter ages ago. I go on every now and then and sigh and day dream about the old days and the log off. It makes me sad. When I do go on I try and unfollow those I am not interested in but it is a huge project and one I am not committed to.

  4. Sounds like a divine plan.

    Wish I could join in, except I would be as lonely and sad as I was before I went online 3 yrs ago … and now I’m a happier mother.

    But proud that you have the internal strength to take this on.

    I know it’ll serve you well, it sounds like such a good change.

  5. And here I am trying to convince my mother she needs an iPhone. I’m with you on the Twitter, but I do enjoy having my internet in my pocket. I’ve downloaded coupons in line :). Also, I’m an addict.

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